Q: I wanted to put a vote in for the "Ask Amanda" days - this occurred to me last night as I tossed and turned trying to work out how to help my daughter deal with anxiety. She has just started Year 1 and has had a number of wee accidents at school (none over the break) and she wakes up every night and insists on sleeping in our bed - both these behaviours have started with the new term hence I think they may be about her anxiety...would love any advice/tips or simply stories of similar experience...
A:
Imagine this...
You have just been invited to a new friend's home for dinner. It will be the first time you have been there.
Getting there First, you double check that you have the address right and you are given a description of the place. You might even get someone to drive you past just so you are confident you can get there.
Then you consult Google maps and get a set of written directions, a map and a street view of the place. You are getting even more confident.
On the night you have butterflies in your tummy, but that is expected. Another friend who knows the way offers to come with you. So now you barely worry at all.
With a little anxiety, you get in the car. But because you have someone you trust with you, and you have a written road map, and pictures representing the place, you manage to get there and enjoy the evening - and get home!
A break
But then you don't get invited there for a while. Until one day, a few weeks down the track, you get invited again. Because you have been there before, you don't really worry. You just set off....
Getting there again
But last time you were driving at dusk, so now all the landmarks look different.
And while you thought you could remember all the turns, it turns out that you don't... and you forgot to bring the maps and instructions. And this time you are giving a lift to someone who "sort of" knows the way, but you don't know them well enough to trust them.
You do get there. But by the time you get there you are so anxious it is hard to relax and enjoy the company - all you can think of is having to drive home again.
But you don't really want to tell anyone because you feel like you should know what to do because you know you have done it before.
The analogy No, this isn't just a random story :). It is an analogy of how a child may feel as they transition back to school after the school holidays...
"Landmarks" change, "supports" are different or fewer. And the expectations are different. For children with developmental disabilities, add to this a difficulty with problem-solving and analysing your environment, and it is no wonder that the transition back to school after the holidays is a very anxious time.
So what can we do? I will take a little time this month to talk about what can be done. But if anyone reading this blog has a story or some advice to offer, please post a comment here.
Not too long ago a parent asked me to blog about Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia. They were wondering what these labels meant, and what could be done to help their child.
Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia can be diagnosed alongside Autism Spectrum Disorders and Attention Deficit Disorders. Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia are neurological disorders that effect the way people learn literacy and numeracy skills (NINDS, 2009; SPELD, 2008).
Dysgraphia
Dysgraphia is demonstrated in a person's significant difficulty with written expression - handwriting, spelling and structuring a piece of written work.
Children with dysgraphia generally have difficulty with processing and sequencing information (Eberly College of Arts and Sciences, 2008). They may also have auditory, language and visual processing difficulties as well.
Information processing difficulties mean that children find it difficult to transfer what they are thinking onto paper. This can be because they find it hard to store the information long enough in their working memory to go through the physical process of writing it letter-by-letter, word-by-word. So what is a complex, creative story in their head, may come out as a jumble of random words and/or sentences on paper.
Sequencing difficulties mean that they find it hard to use the conventions of writing, like spelling and grammar. Proficient writers are able to spell "automatically" as they remember patterns of letters and shapes of words, thus not having to really pay attention to each individual letter in a word. This frees up a lot of working memory so that they are able to write fluently and focus on making meaning rather than spelling. For children with sequencing difficulties, it means that they will struggle to make meaning because they have to focus to much on each letter.
The same goes for grammar. Proficient writers most of the time use grammatical patterns without having to actually think about it. But children with sequencing difficulties will struggle to put their ideas on paper as well as follow the conventions of writing.
For children with auditory processing difficulties, they will struggle to use sounds to help check spelling. For children with language processing difficulties, who may think in pictures or concepts rather than words, it will be very difficult to translate their ideas into writing. For children with visual processing difficulties, it would be very difficult for them to use visual cues such as the shape of letters and words.
At the Autism and Aspergers Support Group Inc Hawkesbury meet in July I was asked by a parent about how to manage meltdowns. There is not simple way to answer this question, though other parents did provide some suggestions. Some things that work for other parents and their children include:
Staying calm
Get down to your child's level and sit with them
Speak reassuringly, assuring them they are not "in trouble"
Hug them tightly or wrap them tightly in a blanket (for some children with Sensory Integration issues this can be comforting)
Since that time I have been reading some information on the topic. One book that I have found particularly useful is Managing Meltdowns: Using the SCARED Calming Technique with Children and Adults with Autism. It is written by Lipsky, who has been diagnosed with high functioning autism herself, and Richards.
SCARED stands for...
Safe - find an environment, or follow the child to an environment where they feel safe.
Calm - stay calm, speak calmly, talk in literal language.
Affirmation - show that you know what they are afraid of by putting it in words.
Routine - work with repetitive, routine behaviours that they may be using to help calm themselves (so long as it does not involve self-harm).
Empathy - show you are there to support and help.
Develop an intervention strategy - make a step-by-step, concrete plan for what to do if a meltdown happens again.
This month...
This month I plan to explore these six elements of responding to meltdowns in more depth.
Reference:
Lipsky, D. and Richards, W. (2009). Managing Meltdowns: Using the SCARED Calming Technique with Children and Adults with Autism. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
As usual, with the mad rush to get the Learn to be Buddies newsletter out, I have neglected my blog for a little while. Now the rush is over, it is time to get back to it ....
About our theme
Because executive functioning is such a complex and important topic, and I didn't get very far with it last month, I will continue writing on this topic this month. But before I start writing on this theme, I thought I would mention two things...
A Spotlight...
As part of the Learn to be Buddies sponsorship scheme, we are beginning a monthly spotlight on charities or businesses that a particularly relevant to the Learn to be Buddies mission. This month we are spotlighting Rainbowland Autism Services. Make sure you check out their services and support their cause. Shortly Allison will be writing a post for us to tell us all about what these are.
A review...
I also wanted to share a little from the workshop by Dr. Lee Sturgeon that I attended recently. I shared some information that related to bullying on my Learning to be Buddies Series blog. But here I just wanted to share some of the answers Lee gave to questions asked by parents in the audience.
Toilet Training Tips
Lee was asked about any tips he could give for a situation where a child was fully toilet-trained at home, but was struggling to use the toilets at preschool. His suggestions included:
Try giving the child access to a private toilet, such as the staff bathroom. It may be the fact that they have to use a public toilet ("in a fishbowl" was Lee's analogy) that is putting the child off using the toilet at preschool.
Video the child if/when they do use the toilet, then watch it and praise the child for that behaviour at home (applied behaviour analysis). My note: You as a parent may need to do this as many preschools would be reluctant to tape so intrusive a video. Lee's tip about using video as a teaching tool: Make sure you focus on the positive rather than video-ing something you don't want them to do, watching it and saying "Don't do this."
When toilet training a child with ASD, make sure you do so with a range of different toilets - not just stick to one. This helps them generalise the skill, or use the skill in a wide range of settings not, as Lee said, "just in the ensuite at home."
Service accessibility
There were a number of parents who were asking about how/where they could access services for their children due to the limited availability and long waiting lists for Medicare and FAHCSIA funded services. Lee talked about asking your GP to establish an Enhanced Primary Care Plan or a Mental Health Plan, both options allowing parents to access Medicare refunds for private consultants and therapists.
Medication
Another question that came up was the issue of medicating children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Lee talked about the fact that many children with Autism Spectrum Disorders have a secondary diagnosis. For example, they may also be diagnosed with anxiety disorders or ADHD.
He suggested that it is usually these secondary diagnoses that lead to medication. He stated that he used medication for his clients especially for anxiety in the middle school or adolescent years. His statistic was that 40% of children in transition to high school were on medication to help them deal with anxiety.
However, he had one emphatic warning: Make sure you see a specialist in the field of Autism/Aspergers for the prescribing of medication. The main reason is that children with Autism Spectrum disorders often respond differently to medication than do their peers without these disorders.
As you can tell, this workshop was great. It was also free, thanks to a government initiative. I will keep my eye out and let you all know if there is another on coming up in the future.
Instead of the usual Ask Amanda post, this month I am starting with an Amanda Asks column. And it is all due to the fact that April is Autism Awareness Month.
But this year is the first year that I have joined in the celebrations. This is primarily because up until this year I have been unaware that April is a good time to talk about Autism.
Amanda asks parents
I want to help build awareness by providing the opportunity for parents to tell their story - to celebrate their children who have Autism, and to talk about the challenges. I want to do this by asking parents to complete the following sentences, then emailing it to me at amandag at learn2bebuddies.com.au:
I have a son/daughter (delete the irrelevant option) with autism and he/she is .... years old.
He/she loves......
He/she is really good at ....
He/she struggles with ....
Sometimes I, as a parent, find it hard when .....
But then I think about the special moments, like when ... (tell us about something great that has happened - an achievement, a hug, a word, a moment that has encouraged you).
Please note: By sending your completed story to Amanda Gray you are giving permission for it to be posted at http://www.learn2bebuddies.blogspot.com during April, 2010. Names won't be used unless the you give permission, and then only first names will be used.
If you want to share a photo, you could either use a picture of your child showing their face, or one where you can't see their face... perhaps take a picture from behind as they play their favourite game. Please note that by providing a photo you are giving permission for it to be publicly displayed on the abovenamed blog. Please do not include a photo if you do not agree to this.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Amanda Asks Support Groups:
I also want to share information about what different support groups are doing to help spread Autism Awareness. If you want me to mention your event or activity, please contact me.
It all starts with "Light it Up Blue"
On April 2nd around the world significant buildings are going to be lit up in blue to highlight Autism Awareness Day. In Australia, Melbourne's Federation Square will turn blue.
If you want to find out more about "Light it Up Blue", visit www.lightitupblue.org. You can make your own contribution to the effort by doing one or more of the following:
Change your Facebook profile picture to the Light It Up Blue logo and tag at least 10 of your friends.
Post on your blog about how you are “lighting it up blue” to raise autism awareness.
Add the Light It Up Blue logo to your e-mail signature … and type your e-mails in blue!
On April 2 wear blue clothing and ask your co-workers, schools and friends to wear blue too. Take pictures and add them to our Flickr gallery.
Bake puzzle piece shaped cookies and frost them with blue icing, then bring them to your school, work or place of worship to raise autism awareness.
And, remember, if you do these things be ready to answer questions. Make sure that if you do not have first hand knowledge of Autism, that you do some reading on the topic. This is a good place to start: www.autismspectrum.org.au
And come back here to hear Jennifer's story tomorrow....
Read more...
Buddies can be used to protect children from bullying. They can be used to help model positive social skills or support academic learning. They can also be used to promote connections and possible friendships between same-age peers of varying abilities.
Using buddies on the playground:
The first question we need to ask when using buddies on the playground is whether we are using them to protect a child or to promote friendships. It is important to understand the difference as the purpose of the buddy system will influence how you select and train buddies.
For protection:
If we are focusing on setting up buddy systems to protect children with disabilities from bullying, usually we ask older children, siblings, other relatives or family friends to "keep an eye on" the child. The buddy may meet the child at the school gate, check in with them on the playground, and walk them to the bus lines in the afternoon.
What this type of buddy system will not do is to promote a connection between the child with a disability and their peers. It will help them feel safe, but will not necessarily help them feel a sense of belonging or connectedness with their peer group.
For connecting with peers:
Buddy systems that promote connectedness and empathy between peers are systems that use same-age buddies. In this case buddies can be used both in an academic context and during play.
Buddies in the classroom may work together, help each other with academic tasks, share equipment and participate together in cooperative group work with other children. Buddies on the playground could participate in games, share equipment and even begin interacting in extra-curricular activities together (like sport and inviting each other to birthday parties).
Selecting buddies to promote connections
Jackson and Campbell (2009) looked at the selection of buddies for children with Autism. One of the things they noted was that children who were not familiar with each other were more likely to interact and actively be "buddies" in academic or classroom learning activities than in recreational or play activities.
This suggests that if we want children to interact on the playground, we first have to give them the opportunity to get to know each other in the classroom. Using peer tutoring, group work and work buddies in the classroom can increase the chances that a same-age buddy system on the playground will work. Training buddies to promote connections
Copeland etal (2002) reported on a study of a high school peer buddy system where children in the general education classroom buddied children with disabilities. This was mainly in the context of academic tasks, but it had social benefits as well.
When using buddy systems we have to keep in mind the risks, some of which Copeland etal reported on:
The risk of "smothering": buddies should be adequately trained so that they don't try and do everything for their buddy. It is important that they see each other as competent human beings, and the relationship is about interdependence (helping each other) rather than dependence (one caring for or looking after another).
Unpreparedness: buddies should be trained in whatever task it is that they are to complete. This training should include both children, not just the child who may be seen as a buddy. This could include social skills training as well as training in a particular academic procedure or task.
Avoiding compassion fatigue
With same-age buddies it is important that you consider the issue of "compassion fatigue". If you set up the buddy system in a way that promotes dependence rather than interdependence, or if you don't change buddies regularly, then it is possible that you will have children who start resenting the fact that they "have to" work with one particular child.
It is important for many children with disabilities to have consistency. They may become very reliant or attached to one child. To help avoid this issue, try and set up "buddy groups". For example, in the classroom start by seating four children together. Promote interaction outside of the classroom by having daily or weekly challenges eg. find out the favourite games of your buddies and play each game at least once together.
With buddy groups, avoid grouping mostly children who know each other together. This may mean that you have incidents where one child becomes the "outsider" and is likely to be excluded or avoided.
Next, rotate and change buddies regularly - maybe four times a year. Or have different buddies for different activities. For a child who needs consistency, use buddy groups and keep at least one familiar child in the buddy group.
Avoiding dependence and a perception of weakness
The other way to avoid compassion fatigue is to ensure that you have not promoted a perception that a particular child is "weaker" than others and thus in need of support. In their discussion of peer tutoring, Fulk and King (2001) state that it is important to use the strengths of children and give all children an opportunity to be the "tutor" rather than always the "tutee".
Children with disabilities can be put in responsible positions if these are based around their strengths. For example, a child with autism who might be really good at maths or following procedures could support their buddy in maths activities or in activities where they have to follow a set procedure. In turn, their buddy could support them during English or less structured activities.
On the playground, it is important that all children get the opportunity to "shine" - for example, a child with a disability playing their favourite game can be as much of a support to their buddy as their buddy may be in other contexts.
Will my child learn bad habits?
One of the concerns parents and some teachers have expressed is that their child may "learn bad habits" from a child who has difficult behaviour or less developed social skills. There is little evidence that this is the case if we carefully select our buddies.
For example, Hektner, August & Realmuto (2003) looked at the use of buddies for children who displayed aggressive behaviour. They found that if two children with aggressive tendencies were grouped together, especially if they were friends, then the aggression in playground games would increase. However, if the child with aggressive tendencies and a child who did not use aggression were grouped together, there was no increase in aggression.
Benefits for all
Using buddies, peer tutors and other collaborative group work in and out of classrooms can benefit children with and without disabilities. If a child without a disability buddies a child with a disability they are likely to:
Interact with children who they may have not interacted with before
Develop an awareness and respect for diversity, thus developing socially and emotionally
Develop a deeper understanding of the task or activity as they help clarify ideas and rules for their buddy
Learn positive skills from their buddy, learn to see things from a different perspective, or learn the value of some things they take for granted
Children who have disabilities can benefit from well-planned, well-implemented buddy systems through:
Seeing social and academic skills modelled
Hearing things explained in "child" language
Getting more one-on-one support than adults can provide in a busy school environment
Becoming more independent, connected and confident
(Conway, 2008; Copeland etal., 2002; Jackson & Campbell, 2009)
More than just buddies
Helping children with disabilities make connections with their peers cannot be solved by just using buddies. We also need to teach social skills, create an accepting/inclusive classroom environment, teach coping strategies and build a child's self esteem through praise, encouragement and giving them responsibilities (Conway, 2008).
References
Conway, R. (2008). Encouraging Positive Interactions. In Forman, P (Ed), Inclusion in Action, p128-244. Thomson: Australia.
Copeland, S.R, McCall, J, Williams, C.R., Guth, C., Carter, E.W., Fowler, S.E., Presley, J.A. and Hughes, C. (2009). High School Peer Buddies: A Win-Win Situation. Teaching Exceptional Children, 35(1), p16.
Fulk, B, and King, K. (2001). Classwide peer tutoring at work. Teaching Exceptional Children, 34(2), p49.
Hektner, J.M., August, G.J. and Realmuto, G.M. (2003). Effects of Pairing Aggressive and Nonaggressive Children in Strategic Peer Affiliation. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 31(4), pg. 399.
Jackson, J.N., and Campbell, J.M. (2009). Teachers’ Peer Buddy Selections for Children with Autism: Social Characteristics and Relationship with Peer Nominations. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 39, pp269–277
Question: My son ..., who has Aspergers, is now 5 years old. He started full time school in September and is making pretty good progress in most areas. There have been a couple of incidents though that have been cause for concern. When the other children play rough and tumble he doesn't really understand how to do it back without hurting them or he even gets upset by it and acts out. He has scratched a boy on two occasions and really left a mark which is upsetting for all parties. I was wondering if you would be able to advise me on how to go about constructing a social story for [him]. ...
Answer:
Here are some key things to consider when writing a social story:
Social stories:
"Can't teach a new skill
"Can remind a child where to apply an existing skill" (Smith, 2003)
In other words, make sure you child knows how to act on the things you are writing about in your story. Role play, prompting, rewards, supervision and repetition should be used to teach the skill with a social story being the "script" to remind your child what it is they should try to do.
Have a beginning, middle and end Like any story, you need to set the scene, develop a theme, hit a climax and find a resolution. It should sound like a story, not a list of instructions or directions.
Cover where, what and who Your story will need to describe where the behaviour is to occur, what may happen and who is involved. If you address these questions in your story, you are telling your child about the context for the desired behaviour so they know exactly when they are to use it, who they are to use it with and what is expected to happen.
Whose perspective? The story must be written from your child's perspective. So try and see the event from your child's perspective, and when you are writing what you want your child to do make sure you write it in the first person. Just a note here that Gray (2000) does suggest that for older children/youth a social story should be written from a third person perspective - "Like a newspaper article" (appendix 13.10).
A different perspective If you are stating a negative (what you want your child to avoid), then you should use a third person perspective.
Being literal and logical
Read through your story like a director, imagining each step of what your child would do if they followed the story literally step-by-step. This means that there should be no figurative language or phrases that assume knowledge.
Directing vs. demanding
Children with Autism and Aspergers can become distressed if they are told they "must" do something - and they don't succeed in to doing exactly what it is they have been told to do. However, we do need to have at least one "directive" sentence in our social stories. The way to make sure it is directive rather than demanding is simply by starting the sentence with "I will try..." rather than "I must..." or "I have to..."
The words you use Make sure that you are using language that matches the language development of your child. Use words that he knows, understands and uses every day. Use picture sequences for young children with language difficulties, or reinforce your story with pictures. You will also need to make sure that your story matches your child's concentration span. The younger and more easily distracted your child, the shorter your story should be.
It could be a learning support team meeting, a transition planning meeting, a meeting about behaviour... Here is a checklist to help you have a positive and successful meeting.
Do you have a jointly agreed goal?
If you are having a meeting where everyone has a different idea about what the meeting is trying to achieve, then it will be difficult to achieve anything that is satisfying to all parties. It is also important that the goal is not set solely by the school representative. This will mean that from the start the other attendees feel dis-empowered.
So have some informal discussion or communication prior to the meeting to determine what everyone wants to get out of the meeting, then write an agenda or goal for the meeting.
Option 1: This is a suspension meeting.
Option 2: This meeting is to talk about the incident on Thursday. We need to discuss what happened, what may have lead up to the incident, and what we need to do to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Option 1: This is a meeting about funding.
Option 2: This meeting is about identifying Sam's strengths and difficulties, and the types of resources we might need to make sure she can do her best at school.
Option 1 will not guide discussion as it does not give a singular, positive focus. Option 2 will give structure and focus to the meeting.
Is the time suitable for everyone?
Negotiating a time that is suitable for all is one way of ensuring that all team members feel equally valued.
Are you on neutral territory?
Considering the place of meeting is important as it can set the tone of a meeting. If there is any tension or difficulties in the home-school relationship, involving the family in deciding on a meeting place can show a willingness to work together on equal terms and demonstrates respect.
Are you sitting in a position that gives equal value to each participant?
Sitting in a chair that is placed behind a desk, or means that you are sitting higher than others in the meeting, will communicate an imbalance in power. Sitting in similar chairs, in a circle or without barriers between you, will help to promote a working partnership built on openness, trust and respect.
Are you using plain language?
It can be quite intimidating to attend a meeting where jargon unfamiliar to you is used. Further, it can mean misunderstandings. So it is important that all educational terms are clarified. And, parents, if you don't understand a term don't be afraid to ask for clarification.
Are you listening? Has everyone had a turn to speak?
Every participant in a meeting has their own area of expertise. Parents are most familiar with their child. Teachers are most familiar with their classroom. Executive staff are most familiar with the school administration.
However, sometimes we can contribute new information to each other's areas of expertise. Like a parent who has found a new resource available in the school system of which the principal had not previously been aware. Or a teacher who has observed a particular behaviour in a child at school which does not occur at home.
As discussed in an earlier post, it is important that we recognise our strengths and limitations. Being open to new information is important. But it is also important to have a sense of the role each team member will play in the meeting, as well as in implementing the outcomes of the meeting. Having a good written record of meeting decisions, with a plan of action identifying who is to do what, is important to the future working relationship of the team.
Do you have a plan for dealing with difficulties?
Having some guidelines for meetings can help with conflict management. For example, together you might discuss some expectations such as the expectation that everyone speaks respectfully, everyone is given a chance to have their say, anyone can call a halt to the meeting if they are feeling intimidated or uncomfortable, and a nominated third party, mediator or family advocate is to be used in disputes that are not able to be resolved.
Note for families:
If you are feeling overwhelmed, under-represented or unheard in meetings regarding your child with a disability, you can bring an advocate along. This can be a friend, family member or a professional advocate such as those provided by Disability Advocacy.
Make sure you request changes to your meeting if you feel any of the above are not being addressed.
...
Providing support to families should be based on "a shared sense of purpose, a willingness to negotiate, sharing of information, shared responsibility, joint decision making and accountability." Rose and Howley (2007, p100)
...
Bibliography and References
Dettmer, P., Dyck, N., and Thurston, L.P. (1999). Consultation, Collaboration, and Teamwork for Students with Special Needs. Allyn and Bacon: Sydney.
Roffey, S. (2002). School Behaviour and Families: Frameworks for Working Together. David Fulton Publishers: London.
Rose, R., and Howley, M. (2007). The Practical Guide to Special Educational Needs in Inclusive Primary Classrooms. Paul Chapman Publishing: London.
Read more...
It is a question that has been asked me by parents a number of times. It comes in different forms. But basically each question is getting at the same idea: "Why isn't the school/teacher stepping in and stopping the bullying?"
This is a tricky question, and for each family/school there is probably a different answer. But here are some things to think about if you are a parent (or teacher) who feels a school (or teacher) should be doing more about a bullying situation.
1. The problem of definition
If you ask five different people what they think bullying is, you will probably get five different answers. Their answer will probably depend on:
their own experience with bullying (which may lead them to be over- or under- sensitive to conflict and bullying)
their beliefs about resilience ("she should get over it")
their beliefs about independence ("he needs to learn to deal with it himself")
Even if we have policies that list bullying behaviour and identify procedures for dealing with these, it cannot answer questions like:
How often do you have to be teased before it becomes "bullying"?
When does meddling with someone's property move from being a practical joke to bullying?
When is refusing to play with someone bullying, rather than childhood conflict?
Policies can do their best to address these issues, but the difficulty lies in the dynamic nature of behaviour. It is not until you really know the individuals being bullied that you can accurately identify bullying.
In the words of Findley (2006):
"Being human, our thoughts, instincts and opinions often influence our decision making. This can be a problem, particularly when it comes to responding to bullying. What you think is trivial, may in fact be causing severe distress to the victim, and what you think is serious, may in fact be having little impact, or causing not distress at all. Bullying is determined by the impact it is having on the victim." (p16)
It is a natural thing that parents and teachers have different perspectives. You might call it the difference between an individual vs global perspective, or an intimate vs professional perspective (Coleman, 1998).
So parents will see the impact certain actions have on their child in a different way than the school does. Here are some ways the perspective can differ:
At home the child may cry themselves to sleep, at school (when asked) they might shrug the situation off (perhaps not wanting to be seen as weak in front of peers)
Difficult behaviour may be seen at school as... well, difficult behaviour. Whereas at home, the parent, intimately knowing their child, may recognise it as a sign of distress.
So even if parents and teachers see the same signs, the interpretation can be different.
It is perhaps true that no parent wants to see their child unhappy, or having social difficulties. However, a professional view may be that social conflict is a necessary and healthy part of developing social and emotional intelligence (Rigby, 2002). Parents and teachers/schools may have a different perspective on where the line is between unhappiness caused by social conflict, and distress warranting adult intervention.
There is also the added factor of the school/teacher caring for many, whilst the parent is caring for few.
Conclusion?
Schools will act when they judge that the behaviour that is occuring fits the criteria of "bullying". Further, their actions will be determined by interpretation of educational policies, and procedures in place to protect both the "bully" and the "victim". Further, teachers will act according to their individual philosophies and interpretation of policies as guided by the school leadership.
The ethos or social context of the school will be important. As West-Burnham, Farrar and Otero (2007) state, "some schools are better at being schools than others." (p19) Policies play a part in this, but so do the attitudes and philosophies of the school leadership.
It is also important to note that schools will act most strongly on tangible evidence. What they can observe, what they know. So for parents and children, it is most important to continually gather and record evidence of harm, whether emotional or physical. The stronger the evidence, the more likely the school will act - though these actions will always need to adhere to the policies of the school and Education Department. And the school will always need to listen to both sides of the story.
On the other hand, a parent's expectations will be shaped by their interpretation and perspective on their child's social interaction and development. If this differs from the school or teacher's perspective, then it is likely that the school will not be acting as strongly or promptly as a parent might like.
For this reason, parents have an important role as advocates for their child. Parents will know their child as an individual better than the teacher or school.
Schools that work best are those that listen to, and work with, parents - always with the proviso that they must work within the "rules" and guidelines of the education system.
This month I want to explore the working relationship between teachers/schools and parents. I want to find out what works, and what doesn't, and practical ideas to improve relationships between school and home.
References
Coleman, P. (1998). Parent, Student and Teacher Collaboration: The Power of Three. Paul Chapman Publishing: London.
Findley, I. (2006). Responsibility: Beating bullying in Australian schools. ACER press: Camberwell.
Rigby, K. (2002). New Perspectives on Bullying. Jessica Kingsley Publishers: London.
West-Burnham, J., Farrar, M., and Otero, G. (2007). Schools and Communities: Working together to transform children's lives. Network Continuum Education: London.
I just thought I would pop in and talk about the theory behind my "Ask Amanda" column.
Calling it by that name does sound a little pretentious. Like I am setting myself up as an expert.
It is not that I think I am an expert on all things inclusion, or behaviour... or that I think I will have the answer to every question. But I do have a little experience, time and access to resources that I want to put at your disposal.
If you have a question that you want researched, but don't have time to do the reading or searching... then I want to help.
If you want a second opinion... I am happy to share mine.
If you want resources, links, ideas, especially in relation to inclusive education or behaviour support ... then I am happy to try help you find these.
So if you have a question or a topic you want discussed, then leave a comment or contact me and I will try to answer it in my monthly Ask Amanda column.
Alternately, if you have something you think is relevant to this blog, I am happy to accept guest bloggers. Or if you have a resource that you think might be useful to my readers, I am happy to review it. Just contact me.
Shelley asked a tricky question about how to share information with teachers, without offending or running the risk of a teacher reading something which may harm their relationship with their students' parents.
Her primary questions boil down to: DO primary teachers use online materials like these? How likely are they to venture into the blogging world of their parents?
I have no statistics etc about teacher use of online resources, or of the trends in what blogs they read. However, there are several things that will influence a teachers' reading habits on the internet:
Time - Scrolling through or searching for online resources can take a lot of time. So often we access only sites to which we have been referred by friends or workmates. So if you feel you have found a great resource, don't be afraid to share it. But share a specific link, or print out a specific document. This will mean that you are targetting the information that is relevant and that you really want them to have.
But do not be offended if they don't use it. We all have different ways of working, and there are so many good ideas that they may already have a resource which is addressing the same need.
Information overload - This links in with the last point I made. There are so many different strategies that can be used to get a similar outcome, and there are millions of websites that deal with teaching issues and strategies. Due to the intensity and busy-ness of teaching, sticking with familiar strategies that are working or sites that we know is often easier than searching through the masses of information on the 'net, some of which is not reliable or valid information.
It is also much more likely that teachers will use respected websites such as government sites, support group sites such as Downsed and Vision Australia than blogs that may or may not be reliable from a professional, research-based practice perspective.
So when sharing sites with teachers, make sure you share the credentials of the company or person running the site as teachers will be more likely to read and use information from people whose credentials they trust.
Social or professional? - However, the latter point can be influenced by how much and for what purpose the teacher uses the 'net. For example, some teachers will be using the internet for social purposes. And these teachers are perhaps more likely to be internet savvy, and spend more time exploring. They may also be more likely to explore sites such as blogs - and may be more likely to stumble across parents' musings.
It is also important to recognise that often teachers who care the most, who are trying the hardest and investing the most time and effort in your child's education may also be the most likely to be distressed by parents' "venting." This may contribute to a sense of helplessness and cause them to give up in the struggle to achieve the best learning environment for the child.
How to protect your relationship with your child's teacher:
If you need to freely vent on your blog, you might want to weigh up the costs and benefits of the following options:
- Using an internet alias - Adjusting your privacy settings to limit who can visit your site - Being careful about using photos or names that are identifiable in your blog
As a professional, I do all of these things when I am writing as a private individual and want to vent about the frustrations of my professional life. I do have an open facebook account, but attempt to make sure my comments on this account do not have the potential to offend anyone I work with or teach - thus it is not the place to vent. I have a private account for that :)
But I might be wrong... are you a teacher? a parent? What are your thoughts?
Recently a Twitter friend asked me if I had any information about behaviour in children identified as Gifted and Talented.My mind immediately went back to the late 90s, early 00s when I was helping to coordinate the Gifted and Talented Support group in a country area.
I thought of one parent’s struggle to keep up with her child’s voracious appetite for creative outlets – dancing classes, band, drama, writing clubs...
Of another child’s social difficulties as they struggled to communicate in a way that their peers could relate to, ending in taking a leadership role and primarily acting as director of her peers’ play.
Of another child who told great, convoluted and engaging stories, but could not get his pen to keep up with his thoughts.Instead, he could only write random words that, when read by some one else, seemed to have no connection with each other.
Of other students who were getting in trouble at school because they found it hard to concentrate and stay interested in activities that seemed mundane and almost insulting in their seeming simplicity.
Of other children whose emotional sensitivity lead them to do things like refuse to eat, respond with deep remorse and guilt to the slightest reprimand or guidance, meltdown because they drew a wobbly line where they wanted a perfectly straight one…
But then there were also the triumphs.The academic and creative achievements.The special, caring natures evidenced as children protected peers and siblings from playground cruelties or worked for charity.The depth of insight as they discussed social issues.The incredible memories from right back into their toddlerhood years and the amazingly creative stories.
- Reaching milestones such as walking and talking early
- Good long- and short- term memory, often with extensive knowledge of a topic of interest, and consequently a large and complex vocabulary
- A “thirst for knowledge”, constantly questioning, exploring, investigating, deconstructing, reasoning
- High levels of energy and activity
- Emotional intelligence, which usually includes a strong sense of justness
- Good understanding of abstract as well as concrete concepts, with quick understanding of new concepts
So what’s the problem?
Web, Amaned, Webb, Goerss, Beijan and Olenchak (2004) have a great table on the second page of their article. It clarifies how the strengths of a child identified as gifted can also lead to some social, emotional and behavioural difficulties.
For example, their strengths in memory, understanding new concepts, reasoning and so on can lead them to be impatient with the “slowness” of others.It can also lead to boredom, or an unwillingness to participate in learning activities that help drill basic skills required for higher order skills.This can cause difficulties in the classroom with concentration and engagement in class activities.It may be that the child becomes the “class clown” and begins to under-achieve due to their disengagement.
Their ability to analyse and critique makes them good leaders, researchers… but can lead to them being seen as bossy or arrogant.It can also lead to perfectionism, which can be positive in that it helps motivate children to do their best.But it becomes a source of anxiety and can lead to depression if the child cannot ever be satisfied with their own attempts or achievements (Peters, 1996).It also means that rather than learning from mistakes and trying again (an important element of resilience), they give up and feel like a failure.
As Web et al describes, their emotional intelligence leads to emotional intensity, sensitivity and often idealism.This can again relate to perfectionism, where they see morals, justice and humanitarian issues in black and white, rather than recognising the shades of grey that exist in the complexity of human interaction.
Web et al also discuss how it is possible for children who are gifted to be diagnosed with mood disorders such as Bi-Polar Disorder due to the intense mood swings associated with their sensitivity and emotional intensity.
Finally, Web et al discuss how the energy associated with an active mind can be misdiagnosed as attention deficit disorders.This is because the behaviour that results from a mind constantly searching for knowledge, constantly active, racing with ideas just screaming to get out can look the same as ADHD – an inability to concentrate, impulsivity, blurting out ideas, struggling to wait for turns or follow another’s lead, and needing to be always physically and/or mentally on the move.
- Giving private feedback framed in positive language (rather than critique the child in front of others).For example, using phrases such as “Why don’t you have another look at this sentence?” or “How might you improve this?”This way you are tapping into their strengths such as their reasoning and problem-solving abilities.
- Maintain high but realistic expectations.For example, recognise that sometimes what they can think up they might not actually be able to execute.Their body might not be up to it – for example, a young child might be great at designing a complex lego construction, but their fingers might struggle with the fine motor skills required to actually construct it.
- Encourage a “have a go” attitude by modelling this yourself and encouraging attempts. For example, a child may not even try to write something, or draw it, if they cannot fully visualise the product.Encourage drafts, sketches, planning with explicit recognition that errors help you learn.
- Focus on praising the child’s efforts and the process of doing something, rather than just the end product.Avoid being “picky”, commenting on unimportant things or saying things like, “You could do better than that!!”
Perfectionism can lead a child to be overwhelmed by the perceived complexity of tasks because they might be looking at the “big picture” rather than breaking up tasks.Teaching them to break tasks down, make lists and prioritise can be very useful in combating this feeling.
- Validate your child’s feelings: acknowledge and talk openly without criticism
- Maintain consistent rules, values and behaviour expectations that are negotiated and discussed with your child.
- Use tools such as an emotions thermometer to help your child identify and manage their emotions
- Help them express their emotions through creativity – such as story-writing, poems, art work, music, an emotions journal and so on.If they struggle with writing, use a video diary.
- Remember that while they may seem like little adults, they are still children who need your support.And their physical and emotional capabilities cannot always keep up with their cognitive abilities.
- Counselling may need to be an option that you explore to ensure their emotional wellbeing.
I have already discussed the stop, think, do program in a previous post.You may be able to adapt this to help children who are gifted think about their response to others before saying things that might be hurtful.Use their gifts in empathising with others to come up with solutions to social problems.
For the hyperactivity, many of the strategies that are used for children with ADHD may also apply.Additional strategies will include keeping your child busy with creative and investigative activities (reading, researching, constructing, experimenting, gardening, craft, music lessons etc etc), as well as perhaps teaching them some relaxation strategies.
Just remember – challenging your child to create something out of things they can collect around the house is just as if not more effective than expensive craft and model kits.
In August we talked about aggression. I shared The Dreaded Power Struggle on http://kindergarten-teachers.ning.com/, a social networking site of which I am a member. A fellow member responded, saying that she had experienced a “Can you do this?”-“I’m not doing it!!” power struggle in her classroom.
Her student has oppositional defiant disorder, and she has a great system in place to help deal with the child’s difficulty following instructions. Here is her story… and her question:
“In math, the class was on the carpet for the lesson and she [the student] was lying across the floor. They [the other students] all went back to their seats for independent work, but my student sprawled across the carpet face down and refused to get up.
“So I left her a few minutes, came back over asked if she knew what she should be doing. She replies, yelling, ‘Yes and I'm not doing it!’
“I gave two options, to get up and do it at the table now, or do it during her free choice centre time. Eventually she came ... over … to my reading table at the end of the group I was working with.
“…. I started a contract this week focusing on two little goals: 1) keeping her shoes and socks on during morning meeting (she gets a sticker) and during math lesson (she gets another sticker). Goal 2) is a little more difficult but is to sit in her square on the carpet for morning meeting (sticker) and for math lesson (sticker).
“So she's working just on those two goals right now. I view it as baby steps and hopefully progress in the long run. Her parents are very supportive and have no idea what to do either. She was adopted at age 1 and of course most of what she does is learned behaviour. Thoughts?”
Firstly, I just want to encourage and commend this teacher to say that she is doing a great job. Baby steps, calmness, patience and lots of rewards (rather than focusing too much on the negative behaviour) are the essential tools in helping this child want to change their behaviour. And behaviour is likely to only change long term if the child’s wants it to change.
The behaviour contract is also important – it clearly outlines exactly what is expected, no room for misunderstandings or negotiation. This again reduces the opportunity for power struggles.
The use of tangible, immediate rewards means that she can see the connection between a specific behaviour (eg. sitting on her carpet square for morning group time) and the reward. This is very important for all children with different abilities because it gives them specific guidance about what is desirable behaviour without a “lesson” or “discussion” being involved.
The identifying of very specific behaviour attached to the reward also means that you can reward her for that behaviour even if she is displaying some other undesirable behaviours. This is an important starting point as it helps the child “get off on the right foot” so to speak. That is, it helps build their self-esteem and self-worth which can lead to more positive behaviour.
One of the most disheartening things for a child struggling with the social and behavioural demands of school is the withdrawal of a reward. For example, if you have a points system where you get 10pts for appropriate behaviour, 10pts off for inappropriate, many children with behavioural difficulties will constantly end up in the red.
For that child, it really isn’t worth trying if they expect to fail.
This also applies to the possibility that the child is struggling with Math. For example, they may feel that every time they do Math they are likely to get it wrong, or they are simply struggling to understand your directions. This may mean that they use defiant or inappropriate behaviours to avoid this possibility of failure. It may be that you need to reasses what tasks you give your child in Maths, and how you ask them to complete it (eg. cutting up a pizza to learn fractions rather than drawing lines and answering questions on paper).
The other thing I just wanted to mention is the idea of learnt vs instinctive behaviour. Learnt behaviour = behaviour children observe and mimic. Instinctive to me means that they are acting based on their own feelings.
Children who are adopted or who are in Foster care may experience a range of emotional challenges that may not be faced by children living in their birth families. Issues of loss, grief and difficulties with attachment may arise. The emotional effect of these issues may result in children (whether adopted or not) acting out, being defiant, rejecting friendships, not responding in the same way as their peers to adult attention, impulsiveness and low resilience and/or self-esteem.
However, I must stress that all children respond differently to adoption and separation, and that behavioural and emotional effects can be mitigated by the actions of parents, teachers and others supporting the family and child. But there are others who can speak with greater authority on this topic than me.
So if a child has these extra challenges, then it is even more important that we focus on expecting small improvements, rather than sweeping behaviour change. That we use calmness, patience and lots of rewards and positive interaction.
Hi Amanda - I thought I'd get in early with a question for you - I am exploring the idea of adapting a PECS system to help Hannah cope in an inclusive classroom. Can you suggest some ways to introduce her to this, also how would it work in a classroom? ( Is it really that easy for a teacher to and child to use? it is the one I am considering because my experience is that teachers rarely ahve the time to learn signing and then use it consistently) Also - what should I include in it eg are there categories that are commonly going to be useful in kindy? Anecdotally I have heard parents say that using this system has helped their children increase utterance length due to the sentence strip. I have access to the 2008 pecs cd - if I find it is working I will probably consider buying an updated version - next year. Thanks a lot. Shelley of Mainstream Musings(using Kit's private blog address cos I am not very technologically able - sorry!
What is PECS?
First, for those who aren’t familiar with the term PECS, it stands for Picture Exchange Communication System. The most common picture system used in schools is Boardmaker, with more and more schools actually purchasing the CD for use in their inclusive classrooms. See Spectronics for more information.
However, for families this system is not always affordable. There are other picture systems that have been developed, but if you want some free downloads you can visit Visual aids for learning, Sparklebox and do2learn. Both of these sites have free, downloadable pictures of commonly used concepts at home and at school.
How are PECS used?
The idea behind PECS is that by using concrete objects (pictures), the child can communicate without having skills such as eye contact and shared attention (paying attention to the same thing as the person they are communicating with, and taking turns in conversation) (Charlop-Christy, Carpenter, Lee, LeBlanc, & Kellet, 2002). These abstract skills can be taught in a very concrete, hands-on way using the pictures.
For example, if you are finding it difficult to get your child to pay attention to what your are saying, giving them a picture can help focus their attention. If the child is trying to communicate something, but is struggling to engage in the give-and-take of conversation, exchanging pictures can be like using a “talking stick”. In this way, they are getting your attention, and you are able to respond to their needs.
Pictures can be used instead of speech, but are usually used to supplement speech. PECS has been shown to be effective in helping children develop increased vocabulary and functional communication (Charlop-Christy et al., 2002). That is, children develop the ability to communicate their needs, wants and feelings in a way that helps them participate throughout the day with fewer “meltdowns” due to the frustration of not being able to communicate.
PECS is used for children with a wide variety of difficulties, including children with Down Syndrome and Autism.
How do you teach young children to use PECS?
Applied behaviour analysis and incidental teaching are usually used to teach PECS (Wolery, 2000). Here are some ideas:
a) Put things out of reach so that the child has to request the object: Make sure you have the picture card readily available. Do this as a game, and be prepared with extrinsic rewards such as stickers if necessary so that it does not become distressing for both the child and yourself. But the aim is to arrive at a place where getting what they want or need, and a hug or a smile is enough to make the activity rewarding for your child.
For example, if you want to teach your child to request to use the toilet (an important skill for school participation), first shut the toilet door. Assuming your child can’t open the door for themselves, that is. Then, blu-tack the picture representing the toilet to the door, making sure it is within easy reach of your child. Praise your child and immediately open the door when they point to, touch or pull the picture off the door and give it to you.
b) Modelling Continuing with the above example, have everyone in the house use the same technique. When you want to go to the toilet, give your child the picture of the toilet before you open the door. This means that she will learn to apply the “word” to others, not just herself. And whenever you use the card, say the phrase, “I need to go to the toilet.”
c) Repetition Don’t vary this routine, right down to what you say. Get her to try to say exactly the same thing every time she uses the picture as well. If you repeat the same phrase, it will become familiar. Your child will also be able to practice and develop an “imprint” of that phrase in their memory – this it will help the shaping of the sounds with their mouth, their hearing of the sounds and their understanding.
d) Prompt and wait You may also need to have a phrase and a gesture that will help prompt her to use the picture and/or language. Again, this phrase should remain the same … and pass this on to the teacher of her inclusive classroom. Make it something simple, like pointing to the picture and saying, “What do you say?” Then give your child a minute or so to process what you have said, and have a go. If she is getting distracted, use the same gesture and phrase again. Repetition and familiarity with the prompt are important, though at first you may need to use more physical prompts like guiding her hand to touch the picture. But gradually, try and reduce the prompts you give.
How is it used in the classroom?
PECS, especially boardmaker, is used in a number of ways in schools.
Individual communication booklets: This is where the child carries around a little booklet of key pictures in their pocket, or on a key ring clipped to their waistband. Here is an example from http://www.autismshopper.com/page8.html.
At school the communication booklet usually has pictures of key people, such as their teacher; self-help words, such as “toilet” and “hungry”; and emotions, such as happy or sad. They may also have pictures that represent key timetable features such as lunch, class and playground time.
Timetables and transitions: Becoming more common are velcro timetables. This is where pictures representing the different activities of the school day are stuck to a strip of velcroe either to the board at the front of the room, or to the child’s desk. Each time a task is finished, the picture is taken of the strip. Therefore the child can keep track of what is going on. This benefits all children in the classroom.
PECS can also be used to break up and teach the steps in specific activities. See an example on the Spectronics website.
Rules: The differing social demands of school can be quite challenging for the child. Therefore, PECS are often used to communicate the teacher’s expectations. For example, when sitting on the floor in front of the teacher the expectation is to sit quietly and keep your hands to your self. The teacher may stick the appropriate picture reflecting this on the board. They may also give a smaller version of the picture to the child to gain the child’s attention, then give a verbal prompt (shhh) and gesture (finger to lips). This really helps with the transitions and interactions that are an essential part of the school day. See and example here.
Social stories: The example in the link above is also a demonstration of how PECS can be used also to develop social stories which will teach children skills to cope with the different social challenges of the school day. I discussed this in a previous post.
In sum, the most commonly used categories at school are:
Self-care, including words such as toilet, food, drink, hurt
Timetabling and transitions: desk work, circle time, craft, sport and so on.
Social skills, including greetings, key emotions (happy, sad), rules (sharing, sitting still and quiet, putting hand up)
PECS may also be used during literacy activities to develop story strips, as seen on the right. These are Boardmaker symbols.
Just a note about sign language: Makaton
Makaton sign language (they have a PECS too) is becoming more common within inclusive classrooms as it is based on natural gestures rather than finger spelling. For example, the natural good-bye wave is used for “good-bye”. The “T” that we use in a “time-out” gesture for basketball is used to signify the need for a toilet break.
Check with your school – you might find that these simple gestures can be used for some key phrases. They can be taught in the same ways as your would teach PECS.
Find out about the difference between Makaton and AUSLAN here.
References:
Charlop-Christy, M.H., Carpenter, M., Lee, L, LeBlanc, L.A. & Kellet, K. (2002). Using the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) with children with autism: Assessment of PECS acquisition, speech, social-communicative behaviour and problem behaviour. Journal of applied behaviour analysis, 35(3), pp213-231.
Wolery, M. (2000). Behavioural and educational approaches to early intervention. In J.P. Shonkoff & S.J. Meisels (Eds) Handbook of early childhood intervention (2nd Ed), pp179-203. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
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