Building empathy

One of the things I discuss with my trainee teachers is the importance of promoting empathy rather than sympathy when including a child with a disAbility. An issue that brings about the most debate in this context is, when a student with a disAbility first joins our class, whether we should talk to the class about that child's disability.

What children want

Chadsey and Gun (2005) interviewed a group of middle school children, asking them to explain the things that help them develop friendships with their peers who have a disability. Here are some of the key things they said:

1. Segregation is unfair
2. Teachers should come into classes to give us more information about students with disabilities
3. Don’t let students make fun of students with disabilities
4. Create programs where both students with and without disabilities can hang out with each other
5. Use volunteer peer partners (eg in buddy systems)
6. Group students with disabilities into our social networks
7. Have students with disabilities tell us about their disabilities
8. Clubs or after school activities should include kids with disabilities and should be of interest to everyone
9. Let students with disabilities take the same bus as us

Empathy

"the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another
person's feelings" (Collins Concise Dictionary)

Understanding and relating to each other's experiences is an important part of developing relationships and respect. However, the way we help our students understand others' experiences will influence how they perceive that person.

Sympathy

synonyms: compassion, pity

A relationship built on pity or compassion is an "unbalanced" relationship, a relationship where there is not an equal balance of power or status.

For example, I want to share with you the story of a little girl with Down Syndrome - lets call her Sally. Before Sally came into the class the teacher talked about Sally's difficulties. She suggested that Sally would need help doing certain things.

The intention of the teacher was great - to promote understanding and a smooth transition. And when Sally came into class, it seemed like this is what had happened. However, on closer inspection the children were treating Sally differently. They were using baby-language to her, they were shepherding her around the school without really listening to her, they were mothering and smothering her.

What is the alternative?

Avoid talking about the child when they are not in the room. To those who ask, "Why?", think about how you might act if you have just had a "lesson" on fellow student and then the student walks into the room. First, you probably have developed an expectation of how that person will look and act based on your understanding of the teacher's words. Secondly, you will probably turn and stare - not being intentionally rude, but because you want to "see for yourself" this new person. For a child who needs a sense of belonging, to "blend" with the crowd, this can be very distressing. Even if the reactions are positive or compassionate, the child is starting off being seen as different.

If you want to share, share together. Rather than talking about one child, get everyone to talk about themselves. This way you are building a sense of similarities, and fellow-feeling, rather than setting one child up to be separate. Using "ice-breaker" or "get-to-know-you" activities at the beginning of the year (or any time during the year if there are indications that students may be at risk of bullying/being bullied) can be really effective.

Here are some ideas:

• Sit/stand in a circle. Have a bean bag/ball to be passed around. Have a theme eg. I am good at... but am not so good at .... The person who is holding the ball/bean bag has to complete the sentence, then call someone's name and pass the ball/bean bag on to them.
• Paint and/or collage a self-portrait using words, pictures, phrases, little biographical stories, photos and so on.
• Have each child write and share their "bio" - a short story about themselves.

This means that when you are sharing you are focusing less on the label, more on the person. You are also conveying a sense of similarity and belonging to all children, not focusing on what is making one child different to everyone else. Everyone is different - that is the value of diversity.

Talk about diversity, difference and individuality. Click here for a good article by the Children's Hospital.org on how to talk to children about recognising and valuing diversity. We have become very good at incorporating books that reflect diverse cultures, non-traditional gender roles and different families into early childhood, primary and secondary education. We should be increasing the range of books we use that portray people with disabilities. We should be incorporating units of work on disAbilities into our curriculum - from looking at sporting heroes, to musicians, to works of fiction aimed at promoting understanding about Aspergers, Autism, Down Syndrome, ADHD, Hearing impairments and so on. Empathy exercises can also be used - eg. we don't have to wait until we have a child with a vision impairment in our classroom before we get children to experience what it might be like by getting them to complete an obstacle course fully or partially blind-folded.

Decide what peers may need to know, and address the issue. Some children with disAbilities will be overwhelmed by emotions at times to the point that they may have a melt-down. We need to ensure that we have processes in place to ensure the safety of the child and their peers. If you are including a child who is at risk of having a melt-down in the classroom, you don't have to talk about the child, but you should talk about the behaviour. Have a discussion that is focused on helping children relate to the experience and problem-solving. For example, address:

• How would you feel if.... (lead children to talk about what makes them frustrated, angry, scared)
• What would you do if you couldn't say what you feel?
• What should we do if... (lead children to design a set of steps to follow if they are afraid someone is going to hurt themselves or others)

You could use a similar process if you need to build awareness of health issues such as epilepsy.

Let the child and parent control the information sharing process, or use rules. In some cases it will be important for the child to share specific things about themselves. For example, a classroom including a child with low vision will need to keep things in the same place and keep the floor clear of obstacles. In this case, you could have rules to this effect in your classroom. You could talk to the child prior to designing the rules to see if they want to share a little of why they need these measures in place. Some children may not want to share information with their whole class, but may want to have the opportunity to share it with a smaller supportive group of peers. For young children, it is the family (parents/caregivers) who should decide what, when and how information about the child is shared.

Be prepared. Especially with younger children, and if a child has a disability that makes them visibly different, you might get questions such as "What's wrong with Johnny?" Brushing off these questions, or treating them as inappropriate behaviour, can make children feel like there is something "bad", "wrong" or "secret" about the child with a disability. Instead, we should answer them as openly and honestly as possible. Teachers should discuss possible answers with the family and/or child before these questions come up. Families have often had much practice in answering these questions.

In the case of the question, "What's wrong with Johnny?" you might say, "There is nothing wrong with Johnny. It is just that his legs don't work the same way as yours so he has to use crutches to help him walk."

The aim should be:

Helping children relate to each others' experiences. We all have things in common, but we are also all unique.

Reference:

Chadsey, J., Gun Han, K. (2005). Friendship-Facilitation Strategies: What Do Students In Middle School Tell Us? Teaching Exceptional Children, 38(2), p52.

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Friendship or Interest Groups

Connecting children with other children who are interested in the same activities is a great way to increase the changes of lasting friendships developing. Using friendship or interests groups is one way to do this.

In the Classroom

- Seating arrangements: Seating children in groups rather than rows is a good start in helping to connect children. Grouping students using your understanding of their personalities and interests can further increase the chances of friendships developing. For example, you might get students to make suggestions about names for teams. Once they have names, get children to nominate which group they would like to be in. This could tap into interests such as sports, animals and colours.

- Social skills lessons: Using the PDHPE curriculum to teach children social skills in the context of games, sports and other "bonding" activities can promote friendships. For example, get children to nominate their favourite games and/or sports. Take turns using these as part of your lessons.

At school

Interests groups: Schools (especially high schools) often have drama, music, chess, computer and sporting clubs or activities that occur during break times. These structured and supervised groups are a good way to connect children with their peers if they struggle to do this due to the lack of structure in the playground. If you can find a club/interest group that matches the student's particular interest this will help them gain a sense of belonging. If there is no established group that taps into the child's interests, look into organising one.

Shaddock, Giorcelli and Smith (2007) tell of a mother who organised what she called a "Friendship Building Group" for her son with Down Syndrome. She was actively involved in promoting awareness about her child's strengths and difficulties, and meeting with her son's buddies to discuss any social issues. You might want to speak to your school about the possibility of setting up a "friendship group" where you send invitations home with students to participate in a once-per-week activity you organise on the playground based on your child's interest.

At home

Extending on what was done at school, the mother mentioned above organised activities such as a once a month BBQ for the children who connected with her son and their parents. She stated that "it was at these get-togethers that the parents would learn about James and feel more confident in inviting him over to play." (Shaddock, Giorcelli and Smith, 2007 p22).

"Playdates" are also a good way to connect children. If your young child does not have any specific friends at school, it is best to start with buddy systems and interest groups. But once these have connected your child to peers, you can increase the chances of these connections developing into friendships by establishing "playdates" that revolve around their common interest (like watching a footy match, or playing chess, or playing Nintendo etc).

Helping other parents understand your child's strengths and difficulties could also help extend the friendships, and increase the chance that your child may be able to visit their friends' homes. Sharing information can help deal with the fears or misunderstandings other parents might have about your child. The mother mentioned above wrote a note for other parents about her son's strengths and difficulties as well as having the monthly BBQs.

A great resource:

If you are looking for easy-to-access information about inclusion, whether you are a teacher or parent, the booklet "Students with Disabilities in Mainstream Classrooms: A resource for teachers" by Shaddock, Giorcelli and Smith (2007) is a great place to start. It has information relevant to both primary and high school teachers, both academic learning and social inclusion.

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Using buddies effectively

"buddy: a pal, one's most constant companion"

(The Wordsworth Concise English Dictionary)

Buddies can be used to protect children from bullying. They can be used to help model positive social skills or support academic learning. They can also be used to promote connections and possible friendships between same-age peers of varying abilities.

Using buddies on the playground:

The first question we need to ask when using buddies on the playground is whether we are using them to protect a child or to promote friendships. It is important to understand the difference as the purpose of the buddy system will influence how you select and train buddies.

For protection:

If we are focusing on setting up buddy systems to protect children with disabilities from bullying, usually we ask older children, siblings, other relatives or family friends to "keep an eye on" the child. The buddy may meet the child at the school gate, check in with them on the playground, and walk them to the bus lines in the afternoon.

What this type of buddy system will not do is to promote a connection between the child with a disability and their peers. It will help them feel safe, but will not necessarily help them feel a sense of belonging or connectedness with their peer group.

For connecting with peers:

Buddy systems that promote connectedness and empathy between peers are systems that use same-age buddies. In this case buddies can be used both in an academic context and during play.

Buddies in the classroom may work together, help each other with academic tasks, share equipment and participate together in cooperative group work with other children. Buddies on the playground could participate in games, share equipment and even begin interacting in extra-curricular activities together (like sport and inviting each other to birthday parties).

Selecting buddies to promote connections

Jackson and Campbell (2009) looked at the selection of buddies for children with Autism. One of the things they noted was that children who were not familiar with each other were more likely to interact and actively be "buddies" in academic or classroom learning activities than in recreational or play activities.

This suggests that if we want children to interact on the playground, we first have to give them the opportunity to get to know each other in the classroom. Using peer tutoring, group work and work buddies in the classroom can increase the chances that a same-age buddy system on the playground will work.

Training buddies to promote connections

Copeland et al (2002) reported on a study of a high school peer buddy system where children in the general education classroom buddied children with disabilities. This was mainly in the context of academic tasks, but it had social benefits as well.

When using buddy systems we have to keep in mind the risks, some of which Copeland et al reported on:

1. The risk of "smothering": buddies should be adequately trained so that they don't try and do everything for their buddy. It is important that they see each other as competent human beings, and the relationship is about interdependence (helping each other) rather than dependence (one caring for or looking after another).
2. Unpreparedness: buddies should be trained in whatever task it is that they are to complete. This training should include both children, not just the child who may be seen as a buddy. This could include social skills training as well as training in a particular academic procedure or task.
   

Avoiding compassion fatigue

With same-age buddies it is important that you consider the issue of "compassion fatigue". If you set up the buddy system in a way that promotes dependence rather than interdependence, or if you don't change buddies regularly, then it is possible that you will have children who start resenting the fact that they "have to" work with one particular child.

It is important for many children with disabilities to have consistency. They may become very reliant or attached to one child. To help avoid this issue, try and set up "buddy groups". For example, in the classroom start by seating four children together. Promote interaction outside of the classroom by having daily or weekly challenges eg. find out the favourite games of your buddies and play each game at least once together.

With buddy groups, avoid grouping mostly children who know each other together. This may mean that you have incidents where one child becomes the "outsider" and is likely to be excluded or avoided.

Next, rotate and change buddies regularly - maybe four times a year. Or have different buddies for different activities. For a child who needs consistency, use buddy groups and keep at least one familiar child in the buddy group.

Avoiding dependence and a perception of weakness

The other way to avoid compassion fatigue is to ensure that you have not promoted a perception that a particular child is "weaker" than others and thus in need of support. In their discussion of peer tutoring, Fulk and King (2001) state that it is important to use the strengths of children and give all children an opportunity to be the "tutor" rather than always the "tutee".

Children with disabilities can be put in responsible positions if these are based around their strengths. For example, a child with autism who might be really good at maths or following procedures could support their buddy in maths activities or in activities where they have to follow a set procedure. In turn, their buddy could support them during English or less structured activities.

On the playground, it is important that all children get the opportunity to "shine" - for example, a child with a disability playing their favourite game can be as much of a support to their buddy as their buddy may be in other contexts.

Will my child learn bad habits?

One of the concerns parents and some teachers have expressed is that their child may "learn bad habits" from a child who has difficult behaviour or less developed social skills. There is little evidence that this is the case if we carefully select our buddies.

For example, Hektner, August & Realmuto (2003) looked at the use of buddies for children who displayed aggressive behaviour. They found that if two children with aggressive tendencies were grouped together, especially if they were friends, then the aggression in playground games would increase. However, if the child with aggressive tendencies and a child who did not use aggression were grouped together, there was no increase in aggression.

Benefits for all

Using buddies, peer tutors and other collaborative group work in and out of classrooms can benefit children with and without disabilities. If a child without a disability buddies a child with a disability they are likely to:

• Interact with children who they may have not interacted with before
• Develop an awareness and respect for diversity, thus developing socially and emotionally
• Develop a deeper understanding of the task or activity as they help clarify ideas and rules for their buddy
• Learn positive skills from their buddy, learn to see things from a different perspective, or learn the value of some things they take for granted

Children who have disabilities can benefit from well-planned, well-implemented buddy systems through:

• Seeing social and academic skills modelled
• Hearing things explained in "child" language
• Getting more one-on-one support than adults can provide in a busy school environment
• Becoming more independent, connected and confident

(Conway, 2008; Copeland et al., 2002; Jackson & Campbell, 2009)

More than just buddies

Helping children with disabilities make connections with their peers cannot be solved by just using buddies. We also need to teach social skills, create an accepting/inclusive classroom environment, teach coping strategies and build a child's self esteem through praise, encouragement and giving them responsibilities (Conway, 2008).

References

Conway, R. (2008). Encouraging Positive Interactions. In Forman, P (Ed), Inclusion in Action, p128-244. Thomson: Australia.

Copeland, S.R, McCall, J, Williams, C.R., Guth, C., Carter, E.W., Fowler, S.E., Presley, J.A. and Hughes, C. (2009). High School Peer Buddies: A Win-Win Situation. Teaching Exceptional Children, 35(1), p16.

Fulk, B, and King, K. (2001). Classwide peer tutoring at work. Teaching Exceptional Children, 34(2), p49.

Hektner, J.M., August, G.J. and Realmuto, G.M. (2003). Effects of Pairing Aggressive and Nonaggressive Children in Strategic Peer Affiliation. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 31(4), pg. 399.

Jackson, J.N., and Campbell, J.M. (2009). Teachers’ Peer Buddy Selections for Children with Autism: Social Characteristics and Relationship with Peer Nominations. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 39, pp269–277

Copyright Amanda Gray 2010

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Chasing friendship

This is part of the title of an article I read about the nature of developing friendships in the early years of school. While it doesn't specifically addressing the issue of friendship for children with disabilities, it provides some insight into what type of things we may be able to do to help all children develop friendships.

The article is by Wohlwend (2005) and is called Chasing Friendship: Acceptance, Rejection, and Recess Play.

Challenging our focus

When a child is struggling to form friendships we often focus solely on the child. We look at training them in social skills, setting them up with buddies, teaching them playground games and so on. These are all great strategies, but Wohlwend suggests that we should be looking beyond the individual child.

Training the individual is only half the story. We need to look at the full picture, which includes how the peers interact with, accept and include the child.

Analysing the peer and play culture

There are many unspoken rules and subtle patterns in playgrounds. Each playground, and each social grouping, has different expectations, rules and patterns of interaction.

For children with special needs, recognising and following these rules and patterns can be difficult. A child with a hearing impairment may miss the subtle way language is used. A child with Autism may not "fit in" with the interests and games that are part of the playground pattern. The child with a developmental delay may not pick up all the subtleties of language and social rules.

Teachers and parents need to have a good understanding of the rules and patterns of social interaction on a playground in order to fully support a child's development of friendships.

A checklist

Wohlwend suggest that we devise an observational checklist to help us "discover the local peer culture on the playground" (p79) based on a number of "dimensions" she lists on p81. Here is my version of such a checklist:

• How do the children group themselves on the playground?
  
• Who a) belongs to a large peer group, b) belongs to a small peer group, c) plays alone or in pairs? Describe the main characteristics of each group (eg. age, quiet/chatty/active etc.)
• How do children join a friendship group?
• Was anyone excluded from a group (momentarily or long-term)? How did this happen?
  
• List the types of activities and games children play on the playground. Create a tally chart to represent how many children are playing each of the games.
• Which groups participate in which activities or games?
• How do children join in the games or activities?
• Were there any children who tried but were unsuccessful in joining in? What happened?
• Where do children play? What is the most popular area?
  
• What equipment/toys do they play with? What are the most popular toys?
• How do children get access to the play spaces and equipment or toys?
  
• Is there anyone who wasn't able to access what they wanted? What happened?
• What happens when there is any conflict during play? How do the children deal with it? How quickly do adults become involved? What do the adults do?
• How often did an adult help initiate play or interaction between children? What happened?
  

What this tells us

Asking these questions will help us understand what activities are popular, what rules the children expect each other to follow, and what strategies they use to solve any social difficulties. It will also help to tell us if there are some children who are being excluded from social groups and why.

Changing the culture

To change a playground culture where there is a lot of tattling, exclusion and/or exclusive social groups (cliques), here are some suggestions based on Wohlwend's suggestions.

Modelling - Making sure that, on the playground, teachers model value for diversity. Wohlwend suggests that teachers should "self-critically ask themselves: 'Do I restrict activities for some children or allow more freedom for others? Do I follow up on tattling by certain children while ignoring others?'" (p79)

Building on specific strengths and interests - We can help bring diversity to the playground, ensuring that every child has the opportunity to participate in games and activities that reflect their specific interests and strengths. This is especially important in playgrounds that include children with conditions such as Autism who may have a very strong interest in one particular activity or theme. To do this we could bring new and relevant equipment onto the playground. Another strategy is to set up a structured play-time or play area based on a theme - like toy trains or dramatic play. Alternately, lunchtime "clubs" can be set up - such as music, drama, chess clubs - to bring children with common interests together.

Teaching play entry skills - Once we know why and how children are included or excluded from games, we can teach and talk about these skills in our classrooms. This usually involves key phrases, which can be taught through scripts and role play to ensure all children have the skills to communicate that they want to join in.

Teach empathy and value for diversity - you can't force children to be friends, or to like each other. But you can help to create an environment that increases the chances that they will play positively together. Understanding why children exclude others from games will help teachers to reinforce the importance of thinking about how your actions affect others. In the role plays above children should also be encouraged to explore responses to others requesting to join their games, and what constitutes an "acceptable" response.

Empower children and promote social problem-solving - having a daily or weekly sharing circle or circle time in the classroom where children can talk safely about their playground concerns is a good way to empower children to solve their own social dilemmas. These times need to be carefully run so that everyone gets to have their say, no-one is humiliated or ridiculed for their input and all children feel safe to contribute. Getting children to solve their own problems rather than jumping in to do it for them will help promote resilience, emotional intelligence and social independence and respect.

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Helping children of all abilities develop friendships, then, is not just about teaching an individual social skills. It is about making sure all children are ready and able to include each other, interact with a wide range of children, problem-solve together and discover others who share their interests.

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Reference:

Wohlwend, K. (2005). Chasing Friendship: Acceptance, Rejection, and Recess Play. Childhood Education, 81(2), p77.

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Transition to school and the social skills children need

In her response to my question about what children struggle most with when they first make the transition to school, Kim said “the increased independence required, communication, social skills and attention to task skills.” I want to talk a little about the things that you can do to help your child learn these skills.

Independence

Dealing with separation

A part of going to school is learning to separate from parents and/or carers. This can cause both parents and children increased anxiety if there is no preparation for this separation (Kienig, 2002).

To help your child get used to being away from you for a part of the day the best way is to start small and slowly wean your child into spending more and more time away from you. You might start with a few hours at a relative’s home. If possible, part-time enrolment in early intervention or an inclusive pre-school setting will help.

Here are some hints about making the actual separation on the day manageable for both you and your child:

- Talk to your child in a positive way about where they are going, focusing on a specific activity that you know they enjoy, or person to whom they relate well. This may be a teacher or a student buddy.

- Try to follow the same routine every time you arrive at the new setting.

- Go to the activity and/or that person you have been talking about as part of that “settling in” routine. Make sure you have let the teacher or buddy know that this is the plan so that they can be waiting for your child.

- Don’t prolong the good-byes, even if your child is upset. And never slip out without telling them. Quickly settle them into the activity, let them know who will be there to look after them, a kiss, a hug and leave. If you have confidence and try to remain positive, it will help your child be more confident even if they initially are upset.

- Make sure you ask the teacher or aide to contact you to let you know how your child is going if you feel any anxiety. Alternately, you might ask how you can contact them to find out this information.

Sharing information is very important to ensure you can keep up with your child’s progress, even when you are not there (Newman, 2004). A great way to keep up with what is happening at school even if your child struggles to communicate with you is to use a communication book. This could be a little exercise book that travels from home to school and back again with your child. Other schools might use email. In these “books”, you, your child’s teachers and anyone else who is working with your child, can record your child’s achievements and any other information about what is happening at home and at school.

Coping skills

As Margettes (2002) states, at school children will need a level of self-confidence or a range of coping skills to help them cope with new things and unexpected events. We can start helping our child to develop these skills through a range of activities at home.

The first thing you can do is to try new things. For example, a new game, a small change in routine in your day (eg. having apple juice instead of orange juice at lunch time). For some children (such as children with Autism) you will need to warn them and then keep reminding them of the change before it happens. You may even need to have a reward – like a sticker, special activity or anything else your child enjoys – that they will receive once they have participated in the new or changed routine.

To teach coping skills you can use a range of different games. However, puzzles can be a simple way to teach children to cope with difficulties. Find some puzzles related to your child’s interest. Start with simple puzzles and work up to harder ones according to your child’s ability or achievement.

To teach your child to cope by themselves, when they are struggling to find a place for a puzzle piece, prompt and encourage them to keep trying until they find a place for the puzzle piece, and give lots of praise if they do. Try not to do it for them, though you might guide them to the right place if they are about to give up. But each time they try, help them persevere for longer.

Next, teach your child to ask for help. As your child’s skills develop, teach them to ask for your help when they need it rather than getting upset or sitting back and waiting for you to jump in. Have a question or prompt that will help them remember to do this.

For example, your child might be struggling with a puzzle piece and

is becoming agitated. You could get their attention by saying “Stop” and using the appropriate hand gesture to go with this.

Then you might point to yourself and say, “Help?” (You might learn the Makaton sign, use PECs such as Boardmaker, or download the free sign from www.do2learn.com seen below – all of which your child could use at school).

Then get your child to say it by prompting them through a gesture and/or facial expression (see previous post on teaching communication).

Don’t help until they have at least attempted to ask for help. This may mean the puzzle doesn’t get finished straight away. But keep trying. This will help your child to develop coping skills.

You can use this same procedure in every day events, such as tying shoelaces, getting dressed, opening containers etc. Waiting until your child asks for help is important as they will need to be able to do this to get teacher or peer assistance at school.

Communication

I have already discussed ways of teaching communication, and what words might be important for school. Kim also suggested similar words in her interview.

Social skills

Margetts (2002) and Dockett and Perry (2006) discuss a range of social skills important for children on entering school.

Greetings

Saying and responding to “hello” (picture above from www.do2learn.com) and “good-bye” are important social skills for your child to learn before going to school. These greetings can be the first step in developing friendships with peers. If you prompt and praise your child for using the “greetings” it is not just about politeness – it is about decreasing the likelihood that they will be isolated on the playground.

Joining in

I told the story of “Isaac” who struggled with this in a previous post. It is fairly common for children with communication and social difficulties to make themselves unpopular with their peers by just “barging in” to their games. At home, in early intervention and pre-school settings it will be important to start teaching your child key phrases to help them join in games without “barging in”. Insisting that your child ask before they join in what you and/or their siblings are doing is a great way to start teaching this skill. Again, remembering that if your child struggles with language, using pictures and gestures is just as effective.

Sharing, taking turns and waiting

The ability to wait for your turn and share is a significant part of cooperating with peers in the school environment. So start teaching these skills early.

Play games where there is one toy that must be shared. For example, playing ball games. You and your child sit at opposite ends of a room. Then you take turns rolling the ball to each other.

Card games, board games, party games such as pass the parcel – all are examples of ways to help your child learn to take turns and share.

Attention

Margetts (2002), Dockett and Perry (2006) and Kim highlight the importance of self-control, concentration and paying attention. Some of the games mentioned above can help with this.

Puzzles require sustained attention. Drawing and craft do as well. Reading together is another important activity to help increase your child’s ability concentrate and pay attention.

You may find that when you start, your child only pays attention for a very short period of time. But use prompts, praise and encouragement to gradually increase the length of time your child stays at a task, keeping in mind that they may be expected to work on one task for around 15 minutes at a time when they first go to school.

Bullying

One of the concerns that parents often have when their child goes to school is the issue of bullying. This is often most concerning when a child is moving to high school. I have discussed bullying elsewhere, but I will write a bit more on this topic… but I will do that in a future post.

Just a final note

As Dockett and Perry (2006) state:

Encourage your child to play with and use pens, paper, paint, water, balls etc. Through play, young children learn naturally. Play activities provide opportunities for your child to explore, interact and solve problems. (p44)

References

Dockett, S, and Perry, B. (2006). Starting School: A Handbook for Early Childhood Educators. Pademelon Press: Castle Hill.

Kienig, A. (2002). The importance of social adjustment for future success. In H. Fabian & A. Dunnlop (Eds), Transitions in the Early Years, p23-37. Routledge Falmer: London.

Margetts, K. (2002). Planning transition programmes. In H. Fabian & A. Dunnlop (Eds), Transitions in the Early Years, p111-122. Routledge Falmer: London.

Newman, S. (2004). Stepping Out: Using Games and Activities to Help Your Child with Special Needs. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

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Transitioning… what worked for Mac?

A mum’s reflection one year on – a guest blog by Gina from Inky Ed!

Mac is six years old in Kindergarten at his local school. Mac has severe CP [cerebral palsy] and significant cortical vision impairment. He has no language and little to no purposeful movement.

We had embedded Mac into mainstream day care since he was three. We were strategic in our choices of centres in the hope Mac might eventually go to school with many of the kids. And we were lucky. Mac knew 13 of the 40 children starting kindergarten. They were confident with him and not phased by his multiple, severe disabilities – he was ‘just Mac’. For some, he was also their safe haven, feeling vulnerable they would seek him out and hang onto his wheelchair until they felt better. Others were very proud to call him their friend (maybe even a little ‘superior’) as they explained about how his muscles don’t work properly and about how he drinks from a hole in his belly.

Already having a network of friends made building more relationships much easier – the other children were seeing interactions between Mac and his friends modelled naturally and constantly. In fact, at times a moderator was required to ‘manage’ the process – so keen were the kids to interact with Mac. And Mac, we he was just thrilled to be going to a ‘party called school’ every day. Some of the children he had known socially for years. They knew how to tube feed him. It was wonderful to remove the unnecessary ‘fear factor’ many adults feel about tube feeding by highlighting if they ran into any problems they could seek out one of the other five year olds who could help them out. We also knew some of these five year olds would be fabulous ‘dobbers’ if the adults were doing things “wrong” because of course they knew, as five year olds do, how to do everything.

For the actual orientation days in the year prior we paid for one of Mac’s aides from day care to attend with him. No one else was taking their parents, it allowed Mac to send the message “I’m not precious, I don’t need my Mum and Dad, I’m not sick or frail… but I do have a disability”. It was also so we could enjoy the process as the other parents do – it was nice to enjoy the ‘fleeting sense of normality’ to drop him off with a kiss on the cheek and walk away, just as everyone else did.

First term was very much about setting expectations (they should expect him there all day, every day), settling in and literally giving the teachers and aides time to ‘learn how to drive Mac’. The school were keen to learn all they could.

We worked as a team – the school had willingly admitted this was new for them, but they wanted to learn. This was refreshing to hear – at the heart of all this is attitude and an expectation that all children can learn. We are very fortunate our school staff all strive to have a ‘growth mindset’ – they want to learn as much as they want to teach.

It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but we have kept communications lines open and every ‘negative’ has been used to learn/develop/change/shift to a positive. The key things we have found help is that as parents we need to understand the system and then help the school manoeuvre within it. The school needs to understand the process and educate the parents and share information. And teachers, well they simply need to be confident they ‘know how to educate’ and not get ‘flummoxed’ by the disability – and as parents we need to support them as best we can.

The introduction of technology, strategies to help him access his curriculum and adapted teaching techniques has been gradual and natural. We certainly aren’t completely there, but we have set a nice groundwork for future years.

Mac has recently spent a week with alternative and augmentative communication expert Rosemary Crossley. “Wow”… now we really have some goals to strive for and IEPs to ‘reset’. With her intensive focus on finding appropriate switch sites for Mac, determining how he can give consistent and purposeful answers based on auditory scanning techniques and testing his knowledge and maturity we have allowed ourselves to increase our expectations for Mac significantly.

So we will all start term four with a renewed focus. With a new ability to consistently answer ‘yes and no’ using technology rather than his more discreet ‘yes’ facial expression Rosemary believes Mac needs to access the same curriculum as the other children at the same rate. More focus will go on ensuring the curriculum is accessible to a child who is essentially blind. Less modifications (or dumbing down) will occur and Mac will essentially need to start working a little harder.

We think he will still enjoy the ‘party atmosphere’ of school… he just won’t be given as many chances to ‘get out of the hard stuff’ from here on in.

It is an exciting time for us all…

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