Helping children self-evaluate

To help with self-evaluation, we need to help children keep records of their successes - and review their limitations.

In the last post I addressed self-evaluation, one task driven by our executive functioning as identified in the document by Queensland Health. As mentioned, when our executive functioning isn't working as it should, we find it hard to "search" our previous experiences and learning to work out what strengths and difficulties we bring to a situation.

So for children with executive functioning difficulties - including many who have ADHD, Autism, anxiety disorders, cerebral palsy and a range of other conditions - we need to find more visual ways to help them recognise and remember their strengths and limitations.


Rewards and Behaviour Charts

Starting from a very young age we can use reward charts to help children identify and remember their successes. We can use these for social and behaviour skills, as well as learning achievements.

There is a difference between using rewards as a "bribe" and using them as a prompt for their memory. For example, if you say "If you do ...., then you will get..." then the reward becomes a bribe. If you say, "Let's look at our stars. What do we need to do?" then the reward becomes a reminder.

A very subtle difference, but one that is important.

For a reward system to work as a reminder rather than a bribe, it needs to be focused on specific things. See the example below from www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/

If used well, rewards charts can be a visible record of achievements, reminding children of what they are able to do, as well as a reminder of what you want them to do.

For some great, free behaviour charts and records visit www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/ If you know of any others, please share them with us.


Social Stories

I have discussed social stories at length in a previous post, so I won't discuss them in depth here. However, it is important to recognise that social stories can help children recognise their limitations as well as their strengths.

For example, a social story can be used to explain when they should ask for adult help when faced with bullying or other safety issues.

"I will try to find an adult when someone bigger than me says things that make me sad."

Communication Book

I wrote a little about communication books in a previous post. These are not only great ways to keep the communication lines open between home and school when a child has communication and/or memory difficulties. They are also great records to help remind a child of what they have achieved and learnt.

Read the communication book together like a storybook. Read it before your child goes back to school if possible. This can stir their memory and help activate their "search engine" for relevant things to apply to their day.


Hang reminders everywhere...

Hanging reminders (with visuals such as those you can find here) everywhere can also help children self-evaluate.

"I can tie my own shoe laces!"

"I can get dressed by myself!"

"I can carry my own bag."

"I can say, Thank you! when somebody helps me."

In the next post I will explore some strategies for older children, like using diaries and learning journals....

Read more...

The Therapeutic Teacher.... or Parent

Image from Dave is Brave. Copyright A.Gray and D.East.

Since bringing up the issue of dealing with aggressive behaviour I have heard a range of comments from parents, teachers and teachers in training.

Some of the concerns for beginning teachers revolved around the fear of whether they could deal with difficult behaviour in the classroom. Both parents and teachers have asked the question, “How can I make sure I support the child displaying the aggressive behaviour whilst still protecting the other children around them?” Other concerns revolve around the issue of the stress and potential harm to themselves.


The challenge of dealing with ongoing challenging behaviour

If we are not careful, the challenge of dealing with ongoing aggressive or difficult behaviour can affect our own mental health. Parents and teachers can become anxious, stressed, tired or even “burnt-out”.


The Therapeutic Teacher

Abrams (2005) wrote an article called Becoming a Therapeutic Teacher for Students with Emotional and Behavioural Disorders. While he is talking about teachers, it is possible that the ideas expressed in this article could be helpful for parents as well.

Abrams discusses research and principles of working with children who have aggressive or challenging behaviour with the aim of balancing the need to manage teacher stress whilst providing adequate support for the students. He argues that the two go hand in hand.

If we can set up an environment that helps prevent the escalation of behaviour, then both the students and the teachers are likely to benefit.


Empathy

One of the key characteristics of a therapeutic teacher is the ability to see beyond the behaviour and focus on the whole child. That is, instead of punishing a child for outbursts or tantrums, the teacher first thinks about the triggers, or the emotion behind the outbursts.

This approach helps us recognise the function of the behaviour (as discussed in the last post), and thus helps us to change or reduce the incidences of the behaviour. It helps us be proactive instead of reactive. Which, in the end, takes much less emotional energy and is much more rewarding – for both the adult and the child.

It also helps us listen and respect children more. It helps us see the child as someone with interests, strengths, needs, abilities… not just an “aggressive child”. As Abrams says, “Therapeutic teachers show respect for each student’s dignity, even when the student engages in antisocial behaviour.” p41

Consistency and routine

One of the most important tools in dealing with behaviour which benefits both adult and child is consistency and routine. Again, this is about preventing difficult behaviour as much as dealing with difficult incidents when they occur.

This can be something as simple as designing a few positive rules, rewards and consequences that the students have had a hand in designing. Reinforcing these calmly, consistently, positively and supportively can have a significant influence on the interactions within a classroom or home.

Routines, or a set sequence of activities throughout the day, can also be very helpful. Children with anxiety issues, difficulty adjusting to change or new experiences will benefit from set routines. These can be represented in a written or pictorial routine displayed and with which the child can interact. For example, putting a sticker next to a completed task. Or removing a picture from a sequence of pictures stuck on a surface using Velcro. This helps them feel in control, and makes the environment predictable and safe – and can be a good basis for rewards.


Organisation and confidence

But, importantly, the success of our strategies not only relies on our respect for our students or an understanding of their needs. It also requires organisation, confidence and a willingness to continually learn.

This means that if something doesn’t work, we don’t feel guilty or beat ourselves up. It is about approaching each day as a fresh start, for both ourselves and our children, and learning from past experiences.


Being realistic – yet hopeful

One of the things that does seem contradictory in Abram’s discussion is his assertion that we need to be realistic while remaining hopeful and optimistic. As discussed in a previous post, it is often a difficult thing to find the balance between high expectations and what we can realistically expect. This is especially difficult when it comes to behaviour.

But if we take one step at a time, one moment at a time, we are more likely to be able to celebrate the small steps without being overwhelmed by the difficult times.


Managing stress

I particularly enjoyed Abrams’ recommendations about stress management. Perhaps we should make it a checklist:

Am I realistic about what behaviour I might encounter tomorrow?
Am I approaching tomorrow with a positive attitude?
Have I set priorities and scheduled my time?
Am I eating well?
Am I exercising?
Am I having enough rest?
Do I have a hobby?
Am I flexible and adaptable?
Am I keeping my sense of humour?
Am I giving myself permission to feel tired/angry/sad/other?
Have I debriefed with a friend/colleague/partner/parent?
Have I come up with ways to deal with the cause of my emotion?
Am I recognising and accepting things I can’t change?
Do I realise that I am not superwoman/superman?

I don’t think I could check all the boxes, but it does help a little to know what to aim for…

Reference:

Abrams, B.J. (2005). Becoming a Therapeutic Teacher for Students with Emotional and Behavioural Disorders. Teaching Exceptional Children, 38(2), p40.

Read more...

Self-esteem, problem-solving and resilience

Step four in the problem-solving process involves being able to realistically identify what resources you have for dealing with the problem.

If you don’t have a good opinion of yourself or your abilities, you are unlikely to have a good opinion of your own resources. And if you believe you have no resources, then you are likely to just give up or ask for help without trying to solve the problem by yourself.

Definitions

Self-concept: This is the broad term to describe how children perceive themselves, what they believe about themselves and how they describe themselves (Lynch, Foley-Peres & Sullivan, 2008; MacArthur & MacArthur, 1999).

Self-esteem: A person’s sense of their worth, and how much they respect, appreciate of value themselves translates into the concept of self-esteem (MacArthur & MacArthur, 1999)
This is part of a person’s self-concept.

Self-efficacy: This refers to a person’s belief in their ability or competence in different situations. For example, a child’s belief about their ability in sporting or academic tasks (MacArthur & MacArthur, 1999).

What effects how children perceive themselves?

- The difference between what is their ideal self, or what they think they should be and what they think they are….
For example, if a child thinks they should be able to solve all their problems without help, and they fail to live up to this expectation, this is likely to have a significant effect on their self-esteem and self-efficacy.

- What they take in from others
What they hear and see from others can effect a child’s sense of self. For example, bullying can have a significant effect on a child’s self-esteem (Delfabbro, Winefield et al, 2006). The labels and concept of self as communicated by the bully may become part of the child’s beliefs. The expectations and beliefs held and/or communicated by parents and other family members, teachers and friends can also play a significant role in the development of the child’s beliefs about themselves.

- Other factors…
As reported by MacArthur & MacArthur (1999) there are a range of other factors that can influence a child’s self-esteem or self-efficacy. These include the existence of disabilities, mental illnesses such as depression, obesity, failure or learning difficulties and so on. However, we can do things to mitigate the effects of these.

Helping children believe in themselves

- Give praise and rewards.
Different children respond differently to different things. This is a great blog post on Cranberry Corner that may be helpful.

- Get the child themselves to identify and record their own successes.
Sometimes it is not enough if it just comes from you – their parents or teachers. Getting children or youth to recognise their own strengths will mean that they are more likely to really believe it.
Some ways to do this is to use the idea of a celebration diary or journal. Or, if your child is using social networking (under supervision), then you could use this to have them celebrate successes.
You could also use self-assessment in the classroom or at home. For example, getting the child to recount to you something that they achieved or completed. You then record it on a rewards chart. Each recount is then awarded a number of points. Those points go towards a greater award at the end of the week, or for older children, you may set a longer-term goal.

- Give the child responsibilities, big or small … making sure they are able to fulfil them. For example, peer mentoring or tutoring has been shown to increase a child’s self-esteem and/or self-efficacy (Karcher, 2009). For example, using children in middle school who struggle with literacy to tutor Kindergarten or year one students in basic phonic or reading skills can increase their sense of competence when it comes to reading. It can also help ground them in a strong understanding of the basics of reading. But if we are going to use such programs we need to make sure the students are adequately trained and supervised to ensure benefits for both themselves and the tutees.

Having said that, the responsibilities can also be simple chores or responsibilities. They can be things like taking out the trash, helping to clean up or helping hand out worksheets in the classroom. Such responsibilities can help to build self-respect in children as it is an indication that we respect them.

When it comes to problem-solving.

When you are trying to help children deal with problems, it is important to get a sense of how competent they feel in the situation.

For example, if you constantly solve social problems for your child they may get a sense that they are incompetent to solve the problem for themselves. Instead, you should help the child work through their options and facilitate their progress through the problem-solving process.

Scenario 1:

Jo is playing in the doll’s corner at preschool. Nat arrives, and wordlessly begins to “care for” one of the dolls. Jo begins crying and calling out.

Miss D rushes over. She listens as Jo sobs out the reason for her distress. It seems that Nat has picked up Jo’s favourite dolly, and Jo wants it back.

Miss D talks to Nat, and swaps Jo’s favourite doll with another. She then gives Jo back the doll, and the two children go on playing happily. Until Nat picks up Jo’s favourite doll blanket…..


Scenario 2:

Jo is playing in the doll’s corner at preschool. Nat arrives, and wordlessly begins to “care for” one of the dolls. Jo begins crying and calling out.

Miss D rushes over. She listens as Jo sobs out the reason for her distress. It seems that Nat has picked up Jo’s favourite dolly, and Jo wants it back.

Miss D talks to Jo about what might be the best solution. Together they decide that the best solution may be asking Nat for the doll, and exchanging it with another. Miss D kneels quietly behind Jo, watching as Jo puts the plan into action. Jo puts her negotiating skills into action, and turns back to Miss D with a beaming smile.

“Nat gave me my doll back, and I gave him one, too.”

“That’s right, Jo! That was a good way to get the doll back, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Nat and Jo go on playing happily. When Nat picks up Jo’s favourite dolly-blanket, Jo says, “That’s my dolly’s blanket. You can use this one!”

With a little more negotiation and some reluctance on Nat’s part, Jo does get her blanket back with the promise to give Nat a turn later.

…..

This theory applies to any age group…. It is only with practice that we build confidence in our own abilities.



References:

Delfrabbro, P., Winefield, T., Trainor, S., Dollard, M., Anderson, S., Metzer, J., and Hammarstrom, A. (2006). Peer and teacher bullying/victimization of South Australian secondary school students: Prevalence and psychosocial profiles. British Journal of Educational Psychology, 76, pp71-90.

Karcher, M. (2009). Increases in Academic Connectedness and Self-Esteem Among High Schools Students who Serve as Cross-age Peer Mentors. Professional School Counselling, 12(4), pp292-299.

Lynch, M.D., Foley-Peres, K.R., and Sullivan, S.S. (2009). Piers Harris and Coopersmith Measure of Self-Esteem: A Comparative Analysis. Educational Research Quarterly, 32(2), p49-.

MacArthur, J.D. and MacArthur, C.T. (1999). Self-Esteem. Retrieved 26th July 2009 from: http://www.macses.ucsf.edu/Research/Psychosocial/notebook/selfesteem.html

Read more...