How to have a peaceful Christmas... a last post for the year

On this day of only 5 sleeps to Christmas it is time to write my last post for the year. I thought I would make it a short and sweet list of things to do that may help you have a more peaceful Christmas if you are including a child who has special needs. Many of these were suggested to me by parents of children with conditions such as Autism.

Hints for having a peaceful, inclusive Christmas

• An orientation:
  

If the child is visiting your place for the first time, it is important to give them a slow and explicit tour of the building. Pictures on closed doors indicating what the rooms are and whether they can be used can help with boundary issues.

• A guest list:
  

To help children know who to expect at the gathering, you may send a guest list to parents before the day. You may even help the parent develop a photo guest list. Looking at this every day in the week before Christmas can help children be more comfortable when meeting people they may have not seen for a while.

• A Routine or schedule:
  

To help children deal with the anxiety of the day, having a picture or written schedule of events might be helpful. Again, if the child becomes familiar with this before the day it could be even more effective. Here is a sample social story and some ideas from other parents.

• A way of communicating:
  

Communication is such an important part of any social gathering. Not being able to communicate can produce difficult behaviour due to frustration or distress. Make sure you understand how the child communicates, and have some special tools available to help with communication. Here is a great example. It comes from this site, where you can find other free samples.

• A plan for anxious moments:
  

Because of the noise and busy-ness of the day, it is likely that a child with sensory sensitivities, social or behaviour difficulties may need a quiet space to calm down. Have a room set up with toys that help calm the child - they may bring a favourite sensory toy or object from home.

Tell the parent and the child, and anyone else who you think may need to know, where the room is and when it can be used. Make it clear that the space is out of bounds to anyone except those who need time out. Oh, and think of time out as a restorative process not a punishment. You could use these symbols to help the child know when it may be time to re-join the activities.

• Patience:

But, overall, your most valuable tool for creating peace at Christmas is patience. Children with special needs may struggle with many things on Christmas day. They may have melt-downs... or times when they become very upset and it is hard to calm them down. They may struggle with things like waiting, taking turns and may seem impolite at times. They may even hit or push their peers or adults at times because they are finding it hard to control their impulses or communicate what they need.

Understand that these are things that they may take longer to learn than their peers. See this behaviour as an opportunity for patience and learning. If you take the perspective that every behaviour has a reason behind it, then your response will be measured and supportive. It will focus on helping to stop the behaviour rather than punishing or criticising it.

Have a wonderful, peaceful Christmas... and a Happy New Year! I will return to blogging sometime in the middle of January. But for now, it is time for a rest.

:)

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Adjusting to the new physical environment

As mentioned in the previous post, one of the key changes in any transition is the change in the physical environment. The one thing that may cause the greatest concern for us as parents or teachers in this respect is the safety of the child, especially on the playground where fences are not always “child-proof” and the out-of-bounds areas are defined by rules rather than physical boundaries.

Handley (2006) discusses some great strategies to help children learn where they can and can’t go in the physical environment at school. This is called boundary training. Some of the steps she suggests include the following:

Design visual supports

Depending on the age of your child, Handley suggests using photos, line drawings or maps of the school. These should have clearly marked boundaries.

Young children or children with more significant developmental delays are likely to better respond to photos – especially photos of themselves standing in the areas being photographed. This means that they can relate the photo to a real experience, rather than trying to use imagination to put themselves into the picture.

Colour code or sort photos of the child in different areas

To help the child understand where they can and can’t go, sort the photos accordingly. That is, take photos of the child in places they can go, and photos without the child of places where they can’t go.

Make charts with appropriate symbols to cue the child into where they can/can’t go

Handley suggests making two charts – a “I can play here” and an “I cannot play here” chart. She encourages the use of universal colour codes (red for stop, green for go) and signs (see below).

For example, your chart may look like this:

Colour-code spaces

For inside spaces, mark areas with the same symbols and colour-coding. Or, for older children, use maps of rooms and colour-code them. Different areas of a classroom may be “off-limits” at different times of the day. For example, children must stay on the mat during group time, at their desks during work time and outside during play time. Symbols on doors or on the floor can help your child identify these physical boundaries.

Make a video

This would work in a similar way as your photographs. Take videos of the child playing in different areas. Handley (2006) suggests that you say something like “This is John in the playground. This is safe” when filming in safe areas. Alternately, film the unsafe areas without the child and state “John is not allowed to play here. This is not safe.”

Laminate the “no” symbol to attach to “no go” zones. Or carry it around to help prompt the child to stay within the boundaries.

Go on orientation walks

Frequent walks around the boundaries can help the child understand and identify where they can and can’t go. Repetition and familiarity is essential. Only stop these walks when the child can identify the boundaries without any prompting.

Reward successes

Use visual rewards when the child successfully stays within the boundaries. Make sure you get to know what the child responds to – some children love stickers, others don’t. Most children have a specific interest area – use that as a basis for your rewards.

Use frequent reminders

Children can be reminded by parents as they walk in the school gates about where it is appropriate and inappropriate to go - using the symbols, photos and chart where possible. Teachers, before they send children out of the class into the playground, can remind children of the boundaries. Use the visual charts and symbols to reinforce these reminders.

But rather than always reminding the child, get them to remind you sometimes.

At home, before the school year starts:

Start familiarising your child with the symbols and colour-coding. Use the colour-coded charts to identify the areas of your home where your child cannot go. Get them involved in creating and using these so that they are used to it before they actually go to school (or high school). Colour code different spaces according to your routine to get your child used to the fact that some parts of the physical environment are only off-limits at certain times (eg. outside is off-limits after dark).

Once you have decided on what school you are going to you should have the opportunity to visit that school in the school year before starting at the school. With the school’s permission, have family outings to take photos in the school grounds, start making the colour chart at home. You could do this during the day when students are in their classrooms, then try going when the other children are on the playground – gradually getting your child used to the playground atmosphere.

Wherever possible, don’t wait until the school year starts to familiarise your child with the school’s physical environment….get in as early as you can.


Reference

Handley. E. (2006). Making Change Easier: Helping Students with an Autism Spectrum disorder prepare for change during the school day, from day to day or transition from school to school. A Guide for Parents and Schools. Autism South Australia: South Australia.

If you want more information, you might want to search for publications or books on Autism SA’s site at http://www.autismsa.org.au/html/resource/resource_intro.html. Your local library may be able to help you get hold of these.

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